On Ni Hao and Being Chinese in America

Let me begin by saying that growing up Chinese American in the San Francisco Bay Area is really an amazing experience. The population of San Francisco is inundated with Chinese and Chinese Americans, especially in little niches and ethic enclaves like Chinatown and the Sunset District- many of these Chinese being Cantonese-speaking, much like myself.

Growing up Chinese in San Francisco meant being surrounded by people who constantly reminded you of your family, it meant making friends who understood your familial rules, traditions, and cultural heritage, and who your parents could compare you to because of their overwhelming aptitude in Cantonese and piano. It meant eating really good Chinese food. Overall, it truly is wonderful.

While interning at a Chinese historical society in San Francisco’s Chinatown this past summer, I noticed that many school children on walking tours mused their belief that America as a whole was populated with over 50% Chinese and Chinese Americans. The influence of living in San Francisco had obviously altered their perception of how many Chinese there are actually living in America; just under 2%.

2% of Chinese in America means that most cities are not like San Francisco- leaving many Americans unaware of the multifaceted nature of Asians and Asian Americans. Mainstream media does little to nothing to help this fact.  Looking at current media- television, films, magazines and the like- there is an obvious and gaping lack of Asian and Asian American representation. Many of what is being shown are the age old stereotypes and tropes that have plagued the Asian and Asian American community for decades- the stoic, expressionless doctors, the dragon ladies, the goofy slapsticks, the exotic sexpots, the nerds, the nerds, the nerds. Because only a few types of Asians and Asian Americans are being represented within mainstream media, most of America is kept in the dark about the true complexities and nuances within every Asian culture and within every Asian person. The tropes of old are perpetuated to infinity, while every atypical, radical and revolutionary Asian person is not even considered a concept in the collective mind.

This past summer my family and I made a trek to Napa Valley, not two hours outside of San Francisco. During our day trip we made a stop at the Napa Valley Opera House to watch a jazz pianist perform a small café show. Upon our arrival, my family and I, four Chinese Americans, glaringly stood out amongst the crowd of graying, retired white couples. Before the performance, I stood to ask a member of the staff where the restroom was. The staffer, an elderly white male, informed me where to go, and then added-

“Are you Chinese or Japanese?” the man inquired.

“… Chinese,” I hesitated a few good seconds before answering.

And with hands palm-to-palm like in a prayer to the gods and a slight bow, the older man smiled,“Ni hao” .

I walk towards the bathroom without acknowledging the gesture when suddenly I hear, “She’s American”. I turn to see a middle-aged white woman, another staffer, remark this to her coworker, loud enough so that I was in earshot.

Every Asian in America has encountered this kind of situation beyond count. Despite the diversity and rich history of the Chinese in San Francisco, I still experienced my fair share of “ching chong”s and “konnichiwa”s. Just last year on Halloween in Manhattan I saw a couple fully decked out in traditional Chinese garb, complete with yellowface and slanted eyes.  It is unfortunate that in what many believe to be “post-racial America” (a total fabrication and misinformed wishful thinking, by the way) that Asians and Asian Americans are still being either completely overlooked or treated like the perpetual foreigner.

The problem here is the ignorance- the lack of education and the lack of representation in media. There are so many people in America who still believe that to be Asian is to be Chinese or to be Japanese. What started out as a progressive term of community and support, “Asian American” has unfortunately excluded in popular thought the range of countries and cultures that fall under the label of being Asian. Even within the label of being Chinese there includes so much nuance- case in point, Ni Hao is spoken in Mandarin, and I am Cantonese.

Historically, the Chinese have been in America for a really long time (think Silk Road, Gold Rush, railroads…!) It is truly exasperating and tragic to know that the country the Chinese helped build and flourish is the same country where the Chinese are being treated like they don’t belong.

The struggle of facing racism as a young Chinese American is knowing how to pick your fights. I for one did not want to start a screaming match with an elderly white man at an opera house filled with other elderly white folks. And that is why I walked away from the situation without another word. Other than the physical space that we were in, the older man’s saving grace was his utter belief in the goodwill he was doing. I could see in his smile that he was trying to connect with me on some bizarre cultural level. This, mind you, does not detract from the fact that his actions were palpably racist. It hurts me to write this, but it did seem like his heart was in the right place (however misinformed and backwards), and so I let it go.

I often wish America was full of Asians and Asian Americans that cursed out, spat at or clocked someone who was being racist to them. I wish I could be one of those people myself, but I understand that laws and public decency is a detractor in those situations. Much of society still believes that they can, and are allowed to, prey on Asians and Asian Americans because of the submissive, docile, weak stereotype. Much of that stereotype is perpetuated because of the very lack of heat that Asians and Asian Americans return when placed as the victim in racist situations. The victimization continues, the trope is perpetuated and the cycle never ends. Know how and when to pick your fights, but when the situation is right- give them hell.

The middle-aged female staffer at the Napa Valley Opera House was obviously trying to alleviate and remedy the situation. Perhaps she knew the weight of the act and was trying her best to be inclusive, for my sake. Let’s hope for all situations in the future, as a Chinese American, being American will be understood and respected- not an afterthought.